Believing Your Own Press Releases

Wherein Our Heroine Rants a Bit About Her Own Speciality.

My slight rebranding earlier this week has caused me to think further on branding and communications in general. I'm not a graphics expert, which is why I often take the advice of friends who have education and experience on the subject; but, I do know a thing or three about verbal branding, and one particular shibboleth has been irritating me lately.

I am not sure how long SC Johnson has been proclaiming itself to be "A Family Company." However; I can tell you that to me, at least, this particular phrase is meaningless. Meaninglessness in corporate communications is nothing new; however, there are types and types of meaninglessness, and I suspect that "A Family Company" comes under the heading of "Sacred Cow." Sacred Cow corporate communications are any bit of phraseology that:

a.) The CEO loves, despite its inapplicability to the company, generally connoting delusions of grandeur (for instance: every tiny little biotech is "a leading company" in its sub-field, even if it was only founded yesterday);
b.) Has been passed down from time immemorial and no-one has the guts to disturb the ashes (which is my suspicion re: "A Family Company"); or
c.) No longer really describes the company, but someone On High is afraid of a total rebranding effort (Cf: any semi-solvent dot-com that is still limping around, eking out an existence on a new business plan that they have evolved to, but not planned or properly communicated to the world at large).

Sacred Cows are not the only type of meaninglessness out there - in fact, the vast majority of meaninglessness is Herd Mentality Corporate-Speak. Herd Mentality types love the latest buzzwords, and will use them until the reader lapses into a numb, verbally narcotized coma. I know it is not really going to happen, but wouldn't it be refreshing if companies described themselves in simple, catchy, realistic terms? Corporate communications people are not in and of themselves uncreative or unrealistic people. But the process a press release or marketing campaign goes through ensures (in most cases) that creativity, realism, and specificity get stomped in the service of safety, tradition, fear, or some combination of the three. Then the Herd Mentality takes over. Any press release that contained the words, "We are a scrappy little company that is looking to improve one aspect of the way you buy widgets," would be changed to, "We are an entrepreneurial enterprise in the process of revolutionizing the commercialization of widgets and widgetizing data." Note: the more hands a press release goes through, the more superfluous syllables will be added. Call it Smith's Law, if you wish.

The problem with Smith's Law and the Herd Mentality is that boredom and incomprehension come along as a by-product of this sort of editing. And considering how many hands a piece passes through to reach this state, it is an incredible waste of time, money, and effort. Actually, in point of fact, communications professionals learn to bang this nonsense out fairly early in the interest of not having to go through seventeen editing rounds. As a result, perfectly good writers get homogenized into hacks who produce sludgy, meaningless dreck due to constant exposure to Smith's Law and the Herd Mentality.

So back to, "A Family Company." I suppose this catchphrase is designed to connote warmth, home, Mom, and apple pie. It is supposed to make us feel all cuddly and fuzzy about buying floor wax, air freshener, and plastic bags. You know what it makes me think? Adelphia was a family company, too.

Posted: Thursday - June 17, 2004 at 07:17 AM | |