Taking Charge of the Future

Wherein Our Heroine Takes a Step.

I think most people have one of those, "Someday, I will..." thoughts or daydreams that recur in their lives. In our someday place, we are going to go around the world, learn to knit, fly-fish in Wyoming, or jump out of an airplane.

Me, someday I'm going to be a yoga teacher.

I've been saying it out loud for at least a year now. John knows, various friends and relatives know, my outplacement counselor knows, for crying out loud. But at a certain point in time, I realized something significant: I had never said it within 100 yards of a yoga studio. I had never said it within the hearing of my teachers. I was not ready to let them know. For some unfathomable reason, I was afraid of telling them.

About a month ago, I had a meeting with the woman who owns the studio I take classes at. She had formerly been my teacher, but had cut back her teaching in order to focus on other aspects of the business. Since I have more experience in business (and some time on my hands), I have been helping her plan and get things in order. Suddenly, I had the impulse to tell her that I wanted one day to be a teacher. Oddly, it felt like a confession - the same compulsion to tell, but fear of the repercussions. "What repercussions?" my logical brain demanded. I didn't have an answer for that.

Since then, I have also told my current teacher. And I think I know now why I was afraid: change is scary. Having expressed my intention to the people who can help me implement it, I suddenly feel myself moving forward. My own yoga practice has more meaning to me. I want to start studying and working toward that goal - even if it is out in the future, the future is suddenly less hazy. I can see my intention start to manifest, and I am not daydreaming anymore.

So, someday might come sooner than I thought. And that feels good.

Posted: Tuesday - July 13, 2004 at 07:31 AM | |