Mondrian-strosity


Wherein Our Heroine Can Only Shake Her Head in Wonder.
Ever seen the show "Dream House" on HGTV? Oy. It's rather like watching a very expensive train wreck in slow motion. The house currently under consideration is a one-bedroom, one-and-a-half-bath bachelor pad set into a steep hillside, right next to a highway. I know a lot of these "reality" shows are cut for impact, but even allowing for dramatic editing, this seems to be one of the worst-organized projects I have ever seen.

Inspectors fail various parts of the construction, inform the general contractor of the specific issues, come back, and the things they have noted have not been done. Guess who complains? The general contractor! If the architect says "communication problems" one more time, I think I'm going to have to institute a drinking game.

The house itself is... not something I would choose to live in. It looks like a Mondrian-inspired chunk of Lego, painted in garishly primary yellow, red and blue. Interior surfaces include steel and rubber. Curtains for the bedroom are proposed in neoprene. Can a climbing wall be too far behind? After all, it sort of sounds like an outdoor equipment store already, doesn't it?

The young owner of this delightful confection is also apparently a class act. The house, we are repeatedly told, is being built with "family money" (his father is -- wait for it -- a real estate developer). Young Owner's "artistic flair" and "unique taste" are complimented at every turn. It kind of reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode where everyone has to keep telling the little boy that everything he does is wonderful, else he will wish horrible things upon them. After drywall has been installed and mudded, Young Owner has a Feng Shui expert come and tell him what he should have done. More bad planning (the house is a Feng Shui nightmare), or just random trendiness and too much cash? You be the judge.

The net effect? I feel really together about my own life, chaotic though it might be.
Posted: Thursday - September 23, 2004 at 08:14 AM         | |

©