Courting Rejection

Wherein Our Heroine Muses that Job-Hunting is All Too Similar to Being Single

There are certain things in life that are regular, linear processes with definable results. You work through a progression from point A to point Z, and if a colleague stops you along the way you are instantly able to give him or her a GPS-perfect specification for where you are. "I'm at M," you might say. "I'm halfway through."

Then there are processes where the outcome is less certain, where progress is difficult to measure, where for all your efforts, the results have a certain randomness, an "I've won the lottery," kind of feel to them. When colleagues ask you for a progress report, you can certainly outline how much you have done, but that doesn't really tell you or anyone else how close you are to your goal. This type of endeavor leads many (if not most) human beings to experience stress, anxiety, and a certain feeling of futility.

Job-hunting and dating are both in the latter category. Both projects meander on until the stars line up in your favor. Both require you to spend some time on your own. Both will entail requests for status reports: "Found anything/one yet?" or the more vague, "How's it going?"

Worst of all, there is a whole cottage industry out there that insists you can turn both of these processes into a measurable, definable project. They insist if you only use their method, you will find a job or a mate in a defined period of time. Some even combine both. Using their "system," you will allegedly be able to tell those well-meaning folks in your life, "Well, I'm at mate finding step 3: you should be receiving the wedding invitation in four to six months."

Needless to say, this sounds rather suspect. You may be doing all you can to land that job or that mate, but the X factor is this: there is at least one other person in this equation who has to make a decision, and make it in your favor. The best salespeople in the world will tell you that things don't always go your way. So where does the certainty of these book-writers come from? Have they (perish the thought) made it up? Are they in fact authors of fiction?

There are whole government programs which exist to protect people from losing their life savings to scammers who prey upon their targets' fears. Perhaps a warning-label program would be in order here: "Warning: Thinking This Book is a Magic Bullet for your Problems Can be Hazardous. Cessation of Brain Function and Use of Buzzwords May Result."

Posted: Thursday - February 12, 2004 at 07:34 AM | |