Up, Up and Away


Wherein Our Heroine Confesses a Fear.

We went to the top of the Washington Monument on Saturday. Despite the fact that I have lived in the D.C. area for over five years, I had never been up there. We didn't bring a camera (we were traveling light in order to get through the security screens with greater ease), but the pictures here are pretty true to what we saw.

Yes, I was able to enjoy the view. It took me a minute, though. We were in a two-sided elevator, and walked straight from the doors to the East View. I looked out for a few seconds and had the disconcerting sensation that I was experiencing everything from a height of about seven feet from the floor. As I am only 5'7", this was troubling. I had to retreat to the stairwell and hold on to the rail before my perception settled into its normal state.

Hello, my name is Jill Smith and I suffer from acrophobia. I generally pride myself on being reasonably logical, but I have learned to respect phobias as no-holds-barred irrationality zones. I don't know how it works for other people, but I find myself suddenly visualizing a fall from whatever high place I am in - especially if it appears unstable (as a very tall, very thin building seems to be, regardless of how secure it really is). The Eiffel Tower also gave me the heebie-jeebies, especially since the top observation platform slopes very gently but perceptibly away from the central structure and the floor is a metal mesh which gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Don't look down."

The interesting thing for me about this irrational fear is the way my brain makes it rational during the experience. The internal monologue goes something like this, "Yeah, right it's been here for hundreds of years - but look how thin that is! Who's to say today isn't the day when the whole thing comes down? Everything does eventually, you know..." and on from there. Screaming hysteria becomes logical self-preservation in the flash of a neuron.

So, all things considered, the fact that I was able eventually to look out each and every window is a matter of no small pride. You're still never going to see me rock climbing, though.

Posted: Monday - June 28, 2004 at 08:19 AM         | |


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