Metro Did a Dumb, Dumb Thing


Wherein Our Heroine Goes on a Local Rant.
Well, it appears that the DC Metro Board did a colossally stupid thing this week: on top of raising fares, they have cut trains back to two cars after 10 PM.

For those who live outside the DC area, a bit about why the DC Metro Board is unique: all other subway services around the world serve a metro area with (at least in theory) one government chain of command. Metro is managed by three, as the service runs through the District, Virginia and Maryland. All three governments get a say, all three have different voter profiles. Three governments would be bad enough, but when you add the DC government to any situation, it's like putting a folding chair just offstage at the Jerry Springer show: a really complicated folding chair that only opens from ten AM until 2 PM on weekdays except Tuesday and only if you fill out the right form.

So, while I don't find it surprising that the DC Metro Board would do something, er, how do I put this delicately?... bloody imbecilic and irrational, I do find it rather surprising that they managed to coordinate it so neatly with a fare increase that has, I believe, been in the works since Whitney Houston actually had a career outside the tabloids.

A few fun facts about DC - it has bars and restaurants (duh). It has large population under the age of 30. It has a lot of people who work very, very (insanely) late. It has parking garages that tend to close at 10PM, leaving you stranded if you were unlucky or stupid enough to park in them after dark. It is also very hot in the summer - hot and muggy and leaving you saying, "Why not?" when your coworkers say, "Let's get a beer after work."

So, tell me: why on earth would the Metro Board bottleneck one of the most convenient transport services at a season when people are most likely to be out late and at a time of night when trains already run 15-20 minutes apart? Lack of brain cells is certainly one answer. Lack of empathy is certainly another. I've been stranded on those metro platforms during one hot summer when breakdowns were rampant (all the trains had been bought at approximately the same time - so all of them were failing from age-related disorders at the same time). It is truly awful to stand on a metro platform with hundreds of brand-new best friends, tired and hot, standing in uncomfortable shoes for long periods, only to see that long-awaited train pull into the station, as full as it can hold.

So, for Metro Board Chairman Robert Smith (no relation, thank goodness), who said this, "If we have people standing on the trains, I don't have a problem with that," and who had no idea that people were left stranded on the platforms or forced to sprint to get to a door on the unnaturally short trains until the Washington Post reporter told him, I have a suggestion. Go downtown, Robert. Get dinner reservations for 8:30. Take your time, bring a large party. Order hors d'oeuvres and dessert. Perhaps an after-dinner coffee. Relax.

And be sure to take Metro.
Posted: Thursday - July 01, 2004 at 08:55 AM         | |

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