The Luck of the Non-Irish


Wherein Our Heroine Refuses the Honor.
I am not Irish.

Despite reddish hair, a penchant for green and seasonal freckles, I have little or no "Irish heritage" (e.g. Irish ancestors - can somebody explain why we need to euphemize that one?). I'm your standard, garden-variety American mutt with a preponderance of Scandinavian thrown into the mix. Despite the fact that this genetic mixture didn't give me the thighs of a supermodel, I'm happy with it. I see no particular reason to change.

But apparently, I am supposed to be Irish. According to popular lore, if I wanted to be Irish, today would be the day. I have been told that "everyone's Irish on St. Patrick's Day!" Apparently, "passing" for Irish is necessary to properly celebrate the holiday. I understand it's all in good fun, but I honestly don't get it.

There are a bunch of half-holidays running around the U.S. calendar these days: St. Patrick's Day, Arbor Day, Groundhog Day - sad little "holidays" where nobody gets a day off. Other than adherence to "Tradition," there is no real reason for their existence. Of this little group, St. P's day is the one most firmly in denial. Parades are held (but they mobilize to the nearest weekend if the holiday lands on a weekday), parties are thrown and people decorate with leprechauns and shamrocks. All of this runs a bit far from the a serious lenten celebration of a Saint who's legend includes driving the snakes out of Ireland. However, plenty of other Christian religious holidays have been co-opted by the secular U.S. That doesn't bother me, either. I'm all for a party celebrating anything or nothing.

I just don't think the words "green" and "beer" belong in the same sentence, let alone describing the same beverage.

I think I'll start my own holiday - "Insignificant Subversive Day." My adherents will not wear red on Valentine's Day and not wear green on St. Patrick's Day. If we're feeling really subversive we'll wear white shoes before Memorial Day.

Who's with me?
Posted: Wednesday - March 17, 2004 at 08:42 AM         | |

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