Hey Rachael - Guess What I did Today? 

"911, what is your emergency?"

"Forest fire."

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Rewind about two minutes: I say to John, "Fire."

He mutters something about the grill, I say, "FIRE," and point into the woods. 

He says, "No, it's sunlight."

My brain has a one-word vocabulary by now.  I point again and say, "FIRE."

And it is at this point when my husband goes from, "John Smith, International Terrorist/His Satanic Majesty, Lucifer Prince of Darkness" to "John Smith, International Terrorist/His Satanic Majesty, Lucifer Prince of Darkness/Smokey T. Bear, a.k.a. My Hero." He races back through the house, grabs a shovel, and tears down the 45-degree slope behind our house into the woods.  I stand there like a dumbass, because I hope I did not see what I just saw.  

15 seconds later, he's running back, yelling grimly, "Call 911."  Which I do.  Thankfully, by now my brain has unlocked and I am more or less in Corporate Communications Crisis Mode: trust me, ma'am, I'm a professional.  Let me give you that data you need in very crisp, carefully enunciated English.

John races back down the slope with a big bucket (three cheers for the stream at the bottom of the slope).

Cutting to the chase: small bonfire, lit by stupid effing teenagers (we assume - definitely lit, crude pile of sticks, etc.  No random cigarette).  Put out by John and Handy Bucket before nice firefighters arrived in their big truck, but we were happy to have them confirm this.  Nice, very concerned neighbors also stop by to make sure all is well (my backup plan in case John's efforts were not enough was "run down our length of rowhouses, banging on doors and yelling, 'GET BUCKET!'"  My backup plan's resemblance to LOLcat memery was not comforting then, is less comforting now).

I could do with a bit less drama on my Friday evening, but I must say to all 911 operators like Rachael and their compatriots in Fire, Ambulance, Police, etc. a profound, "Thank you."  (Have I mentioned that my house burning down is the nightmare I have woken from in tears more than once?  No?  Let's not have to mention it again, mmmkay?)