Expectations, Bodies, and Me

Trying to be Positive, and Failing Miserably.

Behold, the photos have arrived. Of course, the photographer has not sent me the digital files he promised me, so you will have to make do (for now) with the crappy phonecam shots I took last night before I taught a class. So, here I am in all of my bendy glory:

And here is the studio - it's such a lovely place:

You may now have a sense of why I sometimes get freaked out about subbing - it's not just that I don't know the students. It is this thought that creeps in, Boy, are they going to walk in and see you and be disappointed. Who wants a stocky Yoga teacher?

Yes, positive body image. Yes, we are all beautiful. Yes, I read this book and found it affirming and wonderful. Yes, yes, yes. Whatever. Nobody is immune to the evils of expectation and image.

So there it is. A short, concise explanation of my neurosis about teaching and how utterly stupid it is. I should be far more worried about - oh, say - the teaching itself? But no. It is easier to focus on the stupid stuff, the external stuff, the stuff I have less control over.

Is it scary or healthy that I would never judge anyone else the way I do myself? Perhaps it is both.

Posted: Friday - June 10, 2005 at 08:14 AM | |